im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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