The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
