I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
