I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize