i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
