ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize