i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
