ya dads aren't the best wingmen
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
