chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Randomize
