sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
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