i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Who died my cat blue again?
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
