Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
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