So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
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