For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
