I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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