And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
Randomize
