My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
