why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize