But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
