Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
