I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
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