I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
