Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Dick very happy bro
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