would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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