the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
