Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
These tits shall not be calmed
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
