Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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