You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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