I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
