Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
He? As in you personified your dick?
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
