In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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