Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize
