STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I smell like Dick and happiness
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
