I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Randomize
