Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
