The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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