i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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