Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Randomize
