This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
