So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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