i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
