Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
