Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
We left an ass print on the piano.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
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