please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
