Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Dick very happy bro
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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