Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize