can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
