so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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