Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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