So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
