Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
