Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I just want nice things and good sex
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
