Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
