you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
