new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
I think I sprained my soul last night
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
