And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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