well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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