What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
