It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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