roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
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