My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
